YOUR PREP FOR MAY 24, 2006

ON THIS DATE -- WEDNESDAY, MAY 24, 2006

* Happy birthday to Bob Dylan, born on this date in Duluth, Minnesota back in 1941. Bob's officially a senior citizen at 65. His songwriting literally changed popular music back in the 1960s. His singing has inspired a whole generation of Karoke vocalists who realize that, in comparison, even tanked up Wild Turkey, they still sound better than he does.

* Legendary mupeteer Frank Oz is 63 today. Among his best-known characters is Yoda of Star Wars fame. Not only that, but he's also an accomplished film director... that is when he doesn't have his arm shoved up a muppet's butt.

* The great Patti LaBelle is 62 today. When I think of great soul singers, she's just about at the top of the list. When I think of those outfits she wore back in the 70s, it reminds me I need to pick up a couple of TV dinners on the way home from work.

* Gary Burghoff, Radar from M*A*S*H, is having a birthday... he's 62. Radar would see things in his mind before they happened. Perhaps he should have told somebody that it was a tad unrealistic for a show about a three-year-war to go on for ten.

* Actress Priscila Presley is 61 today. She used to be pretty hot, but let's face it, the last few plastic surgeries didn't pan out so well. She's had so many face lifts she's gotta climb a ladder to blow her nose.

* Actor Tim Allen was arrested on this date back in '97 for DWI. Charges that he tried to bribe the cop with a Binford Tool socket set were dropped.

* Roger Moore's last James Bond adventure premiered on this date back in 1985. A View To A Kill was one of his better efforts... if you could get past his Dentu Grip, Oxygen Tank and the walker with tennis ball feet that doubled as a laser beam/helicopter.


TOP TEN
Top ten ways you know your identity has been stolen.

10. You keep getting e-mail updates from Hustler instead of Better Homes and Gardens.
9. You've been billed for 750 head of cattle you have absolutely no room in your apartment for.
8. Junk mail addressed to some guy name Biff.
7. Credit card statements keep rolling in from Russell Stover and you're purely a Fannie Farmer type.
6. Motel 6 bills you for afternoon quickies when you do all your screwin' around at the Holiday Inn.
5. You've just been billed for new siding and you live on a houseboat.
4. You're getting really creepy solicitations on My Space.
3. Local Shell station won't take your credit card and electronic voice keeps calling you Shirley.
2. Everytime you try and use your ATM card the SWAT team arrives.
1. You're signed up for the panty of-the-month club and you rarely wear underwear!


NEWS - ENTERTAINMENT -- TV TONIGHT

* The VA says that data with crucial information regarding veterans social security information has gone missing, putting the financial records of some 26 million vets at risk. On the bright side, since the government hasn't come through with much dough for veterans anyway, very few of them actually have anything to lose.

* Democratic Congressman William Jefferson refuses to resign despite being videotaped taking $100,000 in cash from an FBI informant. The money was later recovered from his freezer. Jefferson says there are two sides to every story... in this case about a 100,000 stories, I'd say. Actually, Jefferson was lucky... they stopped searching after they found the money. If they'd looked a little deeper in the freezer, they'd have found a human head! Aaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhh!

* Weather forecasters are predicting four major hurricanes this season. Ray Nagin and President Bush have already started blaming each other.

* TV Tonight... Well, tonight's the night we find out who gets to be the newest American Idol. Is it Kat or Taylor?I don't care who wins, as far as I'm concerned, there's never gonna be another Jim J. Bullock! On Dateline it's another edition of pervs showing up at stranger's houses to meet up with teenagers. Forget a trial... let's just put a trap door right under the rug. You come in, you go down. TBS has four reruns of Everybody Loves Raymond back-to-back-to-back-to-back. After four of these shows, suddenly I don't love Raymond so much anymore. Lost has it's two-hour season finale on ABC. After a whole season, you'd think Lost would be found, wouldn't ya? Think I'll just watch the radio.


SPORTS

* The Mavericks finally pulled it off and beat San Antonio. Now they'll face either Phoenix or the L.A. Clippers in the NBA finals. The Clippers? This has got to be in the Book of Revealations somewhere. I'm getting scared.

* Barbaro is recovering nicely as the horse gets better from his broken leg. To keep him calm the horse was slowly revived after surgery in a warm bath. I've woken up that way before too... usually after a 12 pack of Budweiser and a dream about a waterfall. (And believe me, that's ALL I have in common with a horse.)

* On this date back in 1967, the AFL granted a franchise to Cincinnati. Professional football came about twenty years later, about the same time as those God-awful stripes.

* On this day in 1930 Babe Ruth homered once each in a doubleheader. He hit NINE homers in that one week. No steroids here... he was fueled by beer and brats. With that prescription, I should be in the hall of fame.

* On this date back in 1940, the first night game was played in New York's Polo Grounds... the Giants beat the Braves 8-to-1. It was also the first night game at Sportsman's Park as St. Louis fell to the Indians 3-to-2. Back then the Giants were in New York, not San Francisco, the Browns were a baseball team in St. Louis, and the Braves were in Boston before moving to Milwaukee and then later to Atlanta. Did I mention you should have a scorecard for this?

FAST FACTS -- EMERGENCY TRIVIA
Way Out West!

* Fact: The state of Utah has a higher percentage of residents under 18 than does any other state, at 30.8 %.

* Fact: Oregon has always been progressive. The so-called OregonSystem in the early 20th century saw the referendum, recall, initiative, and direct primary come to prominence.

* Trivia: Name the Golden State. California.

* Trivia: Name the Evergreen State. Washington.

QUOTE

* "Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be safely insane every night of the week." -- Dr. William Charles Dement

NBA Draft and Tribe Live Blogging

Alright, this is my first ever live blog. I know that its the NBA Draft and Bill Simmons does this every year. I don't want to make it too much like Simmons, so I'll be flipping back and forth with the Indians game.7:15 - Just got home, turn on ESPN... Rachel Nichols. Lord how I hate her. Now they're talking about the Telfair trade. Man how I wish the Cavs got him; ya I know he doesn't have a jumper, but I could imagine him throwing alley oops to LeBron for the next 12 years. Only the 7 pick, Dickau and LaFrenz for Telfair and Ratliff.7:30 - David Stern calls Madison Square Garden the home of the Knicks, Liberty and the WNBA All Star Game. Awesome. He also calls the crowd rowdy. I agree. I can't wait til the Bulls pick and the Knick fans go nuts.7:35 - The Raptors take Andrea Bargnani. What does it say that in 2003 the Raptors got Chris Bosh at 4 and this year take Bargnani first. This is gonna be a long night. The Raptors got a pretty nice front line with Bosh, Bargnani and Villanueva.7:40 - ESPN shows the details of the Chicago-New York trades; at this point Dan Patrick is just egging the Knick fans on.7:41 - TRADE!!!!! And what a deal it is. The Bulls are swapping picks with the Blazers (2 and 4) while also recieving Viktor Khryapa and cash (I think) in the deal. The Bulls are drafting LaMarcus Aldridge for the Blazers, while Portlan will select Tyrus Thomas.7:47 - With all this Brian Colangalo "Phoenix East" let it be known that the Raptors point guard is free agent Mike James.7:48 - Adam Morrison to the Bobcats. I like the pick, I think he'll work really well for Charlotte. I'm not sure how much 'star power' Morrison has. Greg Anthony is talking about how the Bobcats need to sell tickets. Really, Adam Morrison?7:51 - "He listens to Metallica when he works out. Metallica is coming to Chi-Town!" Huh? Stu Scott? Morrison was drafted by Charlotte.7:53 - David Stern: "The Portland Trailblazers select Tyrus Thomas from LSU..."My Brother: "with three kids"7:55 - ESPN's Draft crew starts ripping on the Blazers moves. Sure they probably could've just taken Aldridge at 4, but its not like they gave up that much.7:58 - The Hawks drafted Sheldon Williams. Booooring. Columbus's drive time radio guy called this guy "the next Carlos Boozer" Meh, I guess. Though he also said if the Cavs drafted Dee Brown it'd be the second worse pick in Cavs history with Danny Ferry being the worst. I believe he forgot Trajdon Langdon and Lasanga Diop. Also, Ferry wasn't even drafted by the Cavs. He was drafted by the Clippers, held out, played in Europe for a year and THEN was traded to the Cavs for an allegedly drugged up Ron Harper and 75 draft picks. Sheesh.8:03 - My brother went out for a quick grocery run, TIVO is on pause.8:15 - Recapping: Wolves select Brandon Roy. I think Roy could be a good pro, this is one of the safer picks in the draft. Celtics, picking for Portland, take Randy Foye. So Portland traded Telfair to pick up Randy Foye. Um... okay. More guards please.8:20 - TRADE!!!! Memphis trades Shane Battier to Houston for the number 8 pick, which turns out to be Rudy Gay. Patrick starts making the Villanueva-Gay comparisons, I don't agree, some people think Gay is good but isn't a go-to-guy. Villanueva looked like an asshole who didn't give a shit about anything. Sure, both have questions about effort, but Gay's is more about dominance, Villanueva was more about everything. Why would Houston give up having Rudy Gay as a third option? Houston has an old roster the way it is, they could've brought in Gay and not giving him any pressure to perform right away with McGrady and Yao. I don't get it. Battier is okay, but come on, straight up for Rudy Gay.8:28 - The Warrios selected Patrick O'Bryant a 7 footer from Bradley. Thats too bad, I was hoping Golden State could take another small forward. Dan Patrick just announced a big trade and immediently went to commerical. Thanks.8:36 - Thunderstorm in Hudson. Meaning my TV is out, thanks Direct TV. I've been refreshing ESPN.com for some time now and the only trade rumor I'm seeing is Chad Forde's latest KG rumor he pulled out of his ass.8:40 - The sky is orange, I'm gonna try to take a few pictures.8:57 - Either ESPN or NBA.com screwed up my web browser. So I lost a few posts in there. Also, my TV is about to get back to normal, here's what we've missed:10th - Sonics drafted Mouhamed Saer Sene, is this the guy they were calling the next Mutumbo? He's from Senegal, like Lasagna.11th - Magic draft JJ Redick. I like the pick for Orlando, give Howard a 3 point threat to go with his low post game and Nelson's pg skills. 11 was about right for Redick to go.12th - NOOCH selects Hilton Armstrong from UConn. That makes 19 UConn players drafted in the first 12 picks.13th - Philly takes Thabo Sefolosha a dude from Switzerland. What the hell? The Swiss?14th - Utah takes Ronnie Brewer from Arkansas.15th - NOOCH picks Cedric Simmons from NC State. I know Kenny Roda was a big fan of his.9:06- Still no word on that trade that Dan Patrick mentioned. Also, ESPN's NBA page is now missing Chad Forde's little KG trade box. Not saying anything is up, I'm just saying...9:09 - While fast forwarding through my recording (paused due to the rain) I found that Portland has traded the rights to Randy Foye to the TWolves for Brandon Roy. Foye. Roy. Confused yet?9:11 - With their second pick in the draft, number 16, the Chicago Bulls take Rodney Carney from Memphis. TRADE!!! (I fastforwarded past the announcement. Chicago is trading Carney to Philly for Thabo Sefolosha. Patrick mentioned that Carney got his scholarship to Memphis when Qyntl Woods decided to go pro. Good choice by Woods.9:16 - Stern is just now announcing the Chicago-Portland deal. Not even David Stern can keep up with this. I barely can keep up and I got Tivo (albiet I'm catching up) and the internet. The Pacers took Shawne Williams from Memphis. I believe this is a new spelling of Shawne for me. I haven't seen that 'e' at the end. I think Chone is my favorite though. Chone. Awesome.9:20 - Washington takes Oleksiy Pecherov. He's from the Ukraine and Patrick makes another World Cup reference. I don't know how many that is thus far, but I'm sick of it. Washington's first ever foreign pick in the first round. "Not a project, but needs a lot of seasoning.... Polish is still needed... he may stay overseas for another year" Thats good. At least he's not a project.9:26 - 18 picks. Still haven't had a PG drafted, thats good for the Cavs, right? Right? My Super Ex-Girlfriend wow. That looks good. But there was a Air Supply song in the commerical, well done.9:31 - Quincy Douby from Rutgers. I don't know much about him, but he's 6-3, so does that make him the first PG taken? It seems to be he's more of a combo guard.9:33 - ESPN is just torturing Knicks fans now. They have a graphic of Isiah's time as GM and it reads like this:30 months25 players traded away5 head coaches85-133 (39.o win pct.)and Patrick keeps going about how they are still paying players who are no longer with the team and all this shit. I love it.9:35 - the pick.... a trade?! Come on Stern, is this a new one? It's the Philly-Chicago deal. I think he just wanted to make the Knicks fans wait more. Renaldo Balkman? Who? He's a 6'6'' forward from South Carolina. On ESPN's draft sheet under "Must Improve" they have "Offensive Skills". Sounds like a good pick. David Stern informed us that Renaldo is not here tonight, Dan Patrick quickly added, "that's probably a good thing". The fans are no pleased. Heh.9:39 - The Suns are on the clock and Marcus Williams is still on the board. They don't really need a guard. Its the 21st pick, the Cavs are only a few picks away, if they could grab Marcus Williams....9:40 - TRADE!!! Kinda? The Celtics are offering to pay the Suns to take Brian Grant off their hands for the 21st pick. So the Suns get cap relief and the Celtics looks to take Rajon Rondo. Patrick says he counts as the first PG taken in the draft.9:44 - New Jersey is up at 22 and they take Marcus Williams. Dammit. I was hopin he'd fall to 25. Damn, I wish Ferry could've made a move up. "The best passer in the draft" Dammit!9:48 - flip over to the Indians game, top of the 7th, 2 outs, Cleveland down 3-1. They're goin for the sweep, if they swept the Cardinals... I don't even know at this point. Is the NL that bad? The Tribe has played like shit, I though the Cardinals were supposed to contend for the NL Pennant. There's a giant meeting on the mound, the trainer, La Russa, the infield "looks like a cramp in the arm". Rick Manning is on it. Chris Carpenter is the pitcher by the way. It's rough when the pitching doesn't suck that the Indians only get 1 run. Nice guys, but when the pitching blows you decide to lose 12-8. Ugh.9:50 - New Jersey had back to back picks at 22 and 23 and they took two UConn guys. Josh Boone was selected at 23. Doesn't have a lot of size, but he should help New Jersey's awesome front line.9:54 - The Grizzlies select Kyle Lowry from Nova. Blah blah blah the Cavs are up next.10:00 - Patrick just said that "Portland has been involved in a couple blockbusters" really, blockbuster? Right.10:02 - The pick: Shannon Brown from Michigan State. Yes! Good pick. A scorer and can play a little point too. Anthony thinks he can start! Start? Over Snow? I guess.10:04 - ESPN goes straight to the Lakers. Thanks guys. Good analysis. Jim Gray is in LA. I hate that douchebag. Does anyone like Jim Gray? Does Jim Gray like Jim Gray? More Cavs please.10:07 -Good bye Flip Murray!10:09 - Lakers take Jordan Farmar. I think he looks like my old high school buddy Chip Hemphill. Also, kinda looks like a hobbit. So he's hobbit Chip. Anthony thinks he can start for them, I guess he's never seen Smush Parker play. Bilas says Famar is okay, but is no Marcus Williams, I think he's just trying to piss off teams who passed on Williams, mostly the Celtics, Pacers and Knicks.10:11 - Belliard slaps a double to right field, moves Sizemore to 3rd. A base hit here ties it. Peralta is up, lets hope he gets a single for the Tribes sake and for my fantasy team, The Sosa Palmiero All-Stars.10:13 - Peralta strikes out. Damn. Pitching change. *Pause*10:15 - TRADE!!!! Another Portland trade. What the hell is goin on here. How can Portland make like 10 trades in one night and still manage to have Darius Miles on their team? I don't get it. This trade is with the Suns (who've made 2 moves tonight as well); the Blazers get the 27th pick, which is Sergio Rodriguez and the Suns recieve cash. Nice. So the Suns make two moves and manage to get no players. Um? Alright.10:18 - Behold the power of Tivo! I can fast forward through Jim Gray interviewing Mitch Kupchak. Dallas takes Maurice Ager from Michigan State. I like the pick, Dallas adds the leading scorer from the Big Ten. Wouldn't you want to pick up guys like Ager and Famar instead of the risks? I'll throw Shannon Brown in there, everyone on ESPN's crew think these 3 are going to succeed in the NBA. Sure, no one is saying they'll be All-Stars, but all these guys look like their going to play big minutes on playoff teams. Will Patrick O'Bryant get big minutes on the Warriors? Who knows. *PAUSE*10:24 - Back to baseball. Victor Martinez is up, who is also a member of the Sosa Palmiero All-Stars. This is pretty much the game right here, if Victor or Broussard (or Hafner) get these guys home, we got a ball game. If the heart of the order falls through? Game over. Lets watch.10:26 - 0-2 count. Victor got it back to 2-2 and got a swinging bunt. The ball takes a crazy hop and everyone is safe! One run in, guys at first and third with 1 out. The DP is still in play, but so is the sac fly. Pitching change... La Russa is bringin in Izzy. *PAUSE*10:30 - The Knicks are up again, oh goody. "Balkman is good, Isiah's a bum". Heh. The Knicks take Marty Collins. Spike Lee just looks bored. Bilas: well, it's not a bad pick. I think that's the best news Knicks fans have heard all night. "It's not a bad pick." Portland has got back to back picks coming up, Jesus, how many picks do they have tonight? Wait, I have the internet, I'll brb.10:37 - Izzy walks Hafner. Todd Hollandsworth promptly flies out... wait... David Eckstein hustles and hustles and drops the ball, everyone is safe, tie game!! Aaron Boone comes in and gets a sac fly, Tribe up 4-3. *PHONE CALL*10:55 - *Phone call over* So Portland got LaMarcus Aldridge, Brandon Roy, Sergio Rodriguez, Joel Freeland (with the 30th and final first round pick). 4 picks in the first round and the first pick in the second. 5 Rookies for Portland. That is awesome. I just hope Darius Miles and Zack Randolph take them under their respective wings. (They took James White with the first pick in the second round.)11:00 - Tivo has just fucked me over. Two program started started recording at 11. Dammit, I lost all my saved time on the draft and Indians games. Oh well. FYI, Al Gore is on the Daily Show tonight, just a little fyi. The Cavs are on the clock at 42. 11:05 - I dislike ESPN's draft tracker.11:06 - I really have no clue who they would want here, I wouldn't mind getting Jerry Mcnamara in the 2nd round, but I dunno if 42 is too high or not. Also, Tribe is going to the bottom of the nineth with the lead, I bet Wickman lets at least one guy on, though no one scores. I'm calling a punch out with a man on third to end it.11:07 - Daniel Gibson, PG from Texas. Really? I thought he was a guy they were lookin at for the 25th pick. Chad Forde said the Cavs were looking at him at 25. Nice.11:16 - Not nice, Wickman blew the save. Game over.11:45 - Ejike Ugboaja? I can't find any info on this guy, anyone? Here's what Chade Forde has got:"Ugboaja is a raw big man from Nigeria who is a long way away. But he has athleticism and size." He doesn't even have a height, just weight, 225. 12:00 - It's been about 5 hours of good times. The by all acounts (me and Chad Forde) it looks like the Cavs had a good draft. By those same accounts it looks like the Knicks didn't. There were roughly 92 trades made tonight, with more than half involving the Trailblazers. The Indians came back from behind late, and gave it away later- nice boys, thats a new way to lose one. And the Cavs drafted a player so obscure ESPN doesn't even have a height listed for him. Awesome. Hope you all enjoyed my first live blog. I can't wait to see how people grade the Cavs draft tomorrow.

NBA Playoffs, Idol and more...

This year's NBA Playoffs have been outstanding so far...Last night's game between the Clippers and Suns was unbelievable and we have seen many games like that.

I have discovered that the best way to watch an NBA game is to TiVo it and watch it back in slight fast forward mode(for those of you that have TiVo it is one push of the fast-forward button) until about the final five minutes of the game at which time you watch it in real time. Of course during any commercial break or any other dead time you still go ultra fast-forward through those. This cuts the time it takes to watch a game in half and even though you don't hear the announcers at all, you don't really miss anything. It's great, try it.

Watching the performances last weekend of Tim Duncan, LeBron James, Jason Terry and others made me realize how far the Grizzlies are from being a legitimate playoff team with a chance to win a series. Duncan, James, Terry, and even Devin Harris illustrated the ability to totally take over a game. The Grizzlies don't have a single person with that ability. LeBron got a lay-up anytime he wanted in Saturday's game against arguably the best defensive team in the league. If he didn't get a lay-up, he set up a teammate for a shot. He absolutely dominated the game in the fourth quarter. Duncan did the same for the Spurs. Every time they needed a bucket they went to him and he refused to be denied. One time he even scores over a triple team that included two 7-footers in Dirk Nowitzki and Erick Dampier. The problem for Duncan was that his team still lost because they couldn't stop Terry or Harris. Terry wasn't going to be stopped and Harris, like LeBron, got a lay-up whenever he wanted. An, oh by the way, the Mavs also have Nowitzki with the ability to take over at any time.

What I see is that to be at this level of the playoffs you need to have at least one of these type guys and probably multiple players like this(unless your one is LeBron). The only team that you could say doesn't have that guy who can just take over is the Pistons, but they have five guys as good as the Grizzlies best player. Pau Gasol is a nice all-star caliber player, but he cannot take over games the way the true superstars do.

Another thing you'll notice about the teams remaining is this. Check out the teams and the salaries of their players. You will find multiple players on those teams that produce more than what their salary would indicate. In other words you could say they are underpaid.

Some examples of underpaid guys still in the playoffs:
Dallas: Devin Harris-$2.9 million and Josh Howard-$873,880
San Antonio: Michael Finley-$2.6 million and Bruce Bowen-$3.3 million
Phoenix: Boris Diaw-$1.1 million, Tim Thomas-$389,000, Leandrinho Barbosa-$930,00
LA Clippers: Chris Kaman-$2.7 million, Sam Cassell-$6.1 million

That's just in the Western Conference and there are many more examples. Now ask yourself this. Who on the Grizzlies is a good value? I'll answer for you. NOBODY. There is not a single person on the Grizzlies team that gives you more than you pay for. I would say that Mike Miller and Pau Gasol MAY give you what you pay for, nobody's performance exceeds what you pay for and many are overpaid. That is why, despite one of the highest payrolls, the Grizzlies cannot compete in the playoffs.

Make sure you catch the Cubs game tomorrow, Kerry Wood makes his first and likely only, start of the year.

Taylor Hicks will be this year's American Idol.

Check out Rick Reilly's new book "Shanks for Nothing" it is a funny book by one of my favorite writers. We had Reilly on the show yesterday and he was outstanding. He is a really good guy with a great dry-wit about him. His description of characters in his book and his way of telling a story is second to none.

Have a good one.

Clippers-Suns game 6

Clippers -Suns Game 6

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Play of the Day

Quinton Ross hits outside 3 point shot at the buzzer

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Dunk of the Night

Shaun Livingston receives pass for two handed slam
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The St. Louis Local Organizing Committee will be hosting the 2005 NCAA Final Four at the Edward Jones Dome on April 2 and 4, 2005. The committee is a partnership between the Missouri Valley Conference, St. Louis University, the St. Louis Convention and Visitor's Commission, and the St. Louis Sports Commission.

The City of St. Louis, which is hosting it's third Final Four in 2005 has played a prominent role in the development of the NCAA Division Men's Championship. In 1973, Bill Walton and UCLA met Memphis at the old St. Louis Arena in the first ever Monday primetime national championship game.

Here's a list of FREE activities that will be taking place on Laclede's Landing throughout the four-day Championship Weekend, April 1-4, 2005:

LA Clippers

In 1984 the Clippers moved to Los Angeles, California, playing in the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena while the Lakers, with a better reputation, continued to play at the Great Western Forum in Inglewood, a few miles south. The Clippers were completely overshadowed by their cross-town counterparts, who were in the midst of a championship run with future Hall of Famers, Magic Johnson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, and James Worthy. The Clippers, under head coach Jim Lynam (and later Don Chaney) and new acquisitions Marques Johnson, Junior Bridgeman, and Harvey Catchings (all acquired via trade from the Milwaukee Bucks), finished with a disappointing 31-51 record in the first season in the City of Angels.